Confessions

I’m quite good at spending time on my own. I’ve done an international long distance relationship in my 20’s for about 3 years. I hardly felt lonely during that time.
I used to be very good at falling asleep alone in bed. In fact, I went to bed alone pretty much every night while I was married, especially after I started working.

Now I don’t know how I did that so well.
My boyfriend and I (almost) always go to bed together. His work starts even earlier than mine, so that’s the biggest reason. But that’s not only it.
We both love sleeping. We adore our bed. When he wants to cuddle, he often takes me to our bed. We just lie down there, arms in arms. We often end up almost falling asleep. It’s very cozy and comfortable in his arms.
I love spending time with him even a few minutes before falling asleep. I feel so happy and lucky to be able to say “Good night” to each other. I feel very safe holding his warm and big hand while drifting away.

I’ve been having difficulty falling asleep for a few days because he isn’t around.
I had less problem on day 1 and 2 due to the fact that I was not so well. Naturally I spent more sleeping and I didn’t have have a chance to feel nor think that much.
Now I’m better and I miss his presence much more.

I sniff his worn t-shirts (he left me 4!) in bed and it helps. His smell calms me down and makes me feel less alone.

Which leads to the topic I’m going to write today.
Well, I guess it’s not that weird (I hope!) since I’ve read this kind of thing in a magazine and such.
I love smelling my boyfriend. I mean, almost everywhere, that is. (I do have a few places where I don’t feel like trying even though I love him very very much. Hahaha)
I don’t know how, but he smells AMAZING!!!! When he’s not wearing any perfume or even when he’s sweaty, he smells so good. He doesn’t have typical and strong kind of manly body odor.
I’d been curious if he would smell this good to other people, too. So, I asked my mother to sniff him when my boyfriend and I were back in Japan last time. She did it (shyly and quickly) to his neck and she said, “Yes, he smells nice!”
I’m very serious here. Even his armpits smell gorgeous! (Oh my, I’ve said it!!)

I’ve never even imagined that I’d be attracted to armpits. Like EVER! I don’t care if they belong to a beautiful human being.
I don’t know what happened to me, but I LOVE his armpits. With hair or without hair, his armpits are the sexiest.
(Let me say it loud and clear. I’m not a fan of armpits at all. Just his.)

The interesting thing is that my nose and sense of smell had been very bad since I spilled concentrated room fragrance on a desk when I was about 13 years old. I cursed myself for it many times in the past.
After I moved to the Netherlands, I could smell hardly anything probably due to the less humidity in the air compared to Japan. I had to ask my ex for his opinions whenever I wanted to try perfume in a store as I could barely smell it by myself.
Since I got together with my boyfriend however, somehow my nose got better. I didn’t have to try to smell him. I just could. Was it more like pheromone, maybe?
And I’m not the only one who is crazy about the scent. He loves smelling me even more.
He packed my worn t-shirt to take with him.

I guess we click in a very primitive way.

Do you believe in “love at a first sniff”?
Even if you don’t, do you love your loved one’s scent?

(Excuse me if I made you taken aback by this article!)

Love,
Ayako

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